Simply Believing

I guess we were a little to anxious with getting out of the PICU. We were going to move floors today up to the cancer floor, and we tried not to talk about it, or get too excited about it, or think we were finally done being in critical condition. Last night Ammon woke up around 9 after he had slept for several hours and decided to not breathe so well. He still has a lot of secretions in his lungs that we are trying to get him to cough out. He started crying more like he was in pain and would stop to listen to me trying to sing and comfort him. He also started tracking with his eyes those nurses and respiratory therapists who were approaching him to perform procedures and cry out ("I know you...you don't make me feel good"), so these were good signs that he was more aware...of pain and surroundings as well. His respiratory rate started climbing and the resident was called in again to assess him. The respiratory therapist was called in to suction him again and that seemed to help with his oxygen sats. We then decided he was having withdrawal issues from the multiple meds that he had been weened off over the last 24 hrs.

Ammon and I had a countdown till midnight, because at midnight he would officially be done with the steriod treatments related to his chemo. Ironically, at midnight he was given morphine and he was out. I was joking about the countdown at midnight with Ammon's nurse and so when the morphine was given at exactly that time, I think she started looking at me funny. After ten minutes of staring at him to make sure he was really asleep and not in pain, it was time for a celebration in having made it successfully past the steriod phase of his treatments. A Sprite/Crystal Light slushy actually sounded good. I walked over to the slushy machine they have here in the PICU and they had just started new batch, so it's was just sugar water, so much for the midnight celebration.

The only down side of coming out of the isolation room is that we could hear everyone else all night long, in addition to our own alarms and beeps. At least we got some sleep. We seemed to be doing better this morning, the talk in rounds was don't give him any more morphine and get him up to the cancer floor. I went to church here this morning. It's so nice to be at Primary Children's Hospital, they have a half an hour church service in a small auditorium. You come in whatever clothes you have, the sacrament is administered, and a beautiful musical number is performed. Then you have one talk that makes everyone cry. With foresight, they hand out tissues when you come in. At first I thought, do the speakers pick the sensitive subjects to make everyone cry, they know we are all going through tough times. I guess they are just trying to comfort us. I did get touched by a quote that was read by Elder Holland (Oct. 2008). It reminded me of my conference experience and Brian's most recent talk on miracles. He said, "I ask everyone within the sound of my voice to take heart, be filled with faith, and remember the Lord has said He 'would fight (our) battles, (our) children’s battles, and (the battles of our) children’s children.' And what do we do to merit such a defense? We are to 'search diligently, pray always, and be believing. (Then) all things shall work together for (our) good, if (we) walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith (we) have covenanted.' The latter days are not a time to fear and tremble. They are a time to be believing..."

What a wonderful promise for simply believing. I won't doubt Ammon!

This afternoon, Ammon just kind of stopped breathing so well and the whole team of doctors started swarming and put him on high flow oxygen, he was mottling blue and grey, his IV wasn't working right, he hasn't gone pee for several hours, everything is just going the wrong way again. A chest x-ray was done and his left lung was collapsing, so he is now back on the bipap, back on IVs, back on lasyx for peeing. His seizures and crying have gone down. Blood count is still great and he is off the steroids!!!!! So don't even mention moving to the fourth floor...yet. Just keep believing.